I only very recently actually identified myself as polyamorous. It came as a part of my swinging experiences as well a relationship I had with a bisexual who was at the time already in love with someone else. I came across the term while talking with very close friends. We both have a mutual friend who was poly himself and was living the life. After describing my feelings, it was a clear assertion of, “you’re polyamorous.” I didn’t know what that meant, so it was a trigger for me to find out more.
I didn’t look in to it too deeply. There didn’t seem to be much point at the time. A label is just a label after all. My own personal philosophy won’t change because of it.
In retrospect, that was a mistake. I didn’t realize at all that this personal philosophy would have serious consequences in how I should relate to others. It sounds obvious put like that, but Captain Hindsight does indeed have that superpower.
What I ended up doing was knowing and feeling poly, but living the socially-accepted standard monogamous life. It wasn’t really a decision as much as letting the default take me along. I should have known from previous experience not to just accept what society imposes on you – especially since I’ve lived in a few different cultures that have different expectations from you – but I nevertheless made that mistake.


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