In order to heal, you have to be ready to admit you have a problem and be willing to bare yourself openly and honestly both to yourself and your partner(s). Only then can you really target the root causes and rebuild a stronger relationship.
I cheated. I had an affair. I lied to my wife and betrayed her trust. I severely regret that I did those things. I do not regret the love and relationship I had with K. I regret that I didn’t have the guts or the skills to openly communicate these things to W. I regret that in my attempts to support W, I also managed to ignore and let my relationship with K crash. I also regret that when I was attempting to rescue our relationship, that I concentrated on myself and on educating W on poly.
Now is long past time that I take action and extend appropriate understanding and support to W. After doing some research, I found the following 2 books that I bought for W:
- Life After Betrayal: A Practical Guide (10-Step Empowerment Series)
- What To Do When Your Spouse Cheats:Take Practical Steps To Survive
I am scared of what is written in the books. They are written for the betrayed, to support them and give them advice on what to do. I don’t know if the hard advice will come up to leave me because I am untrustworthy. However, I must reap what I sow. I gave them to her. I hope that these books will help her resolve any issues that I may have created or exacerbated. I hope that they will also help me to better support her through this. I hope that they will help us grow stronger and closer together rather than break us apart.
With trepidation, I will see what happens…