New life


A long time since my last post… First, nothing happened as I was just recovering from my operation, then lots happened after W gave birth to our child. That’s right! We have a new life in our household.

What is your first reaction to this news? “Congratulations! Is it a boy or a girl?” That’s the usual…

Do I sound odd if I reply, “who cares?”

Indeed, I don’t care. Boy, girl or ambiguous… I don’t care in the slightest. Why can’t the first question be, “Is it healthy?”

That’s what I care about.

Gender seems to be so important about our identities that the stereotyping begins even before birth. Pink or blue? Pictures of cars or flowers? If it’s a boy, it’s normal that it screams and cries a lot. If it’s a girl, it should be quieter and more passive. Dress the same baby in blue or pink and place it in the same room with the same women and in blue, they will talk mostly amongst themselves and let it explore and play alone. In pink, they will mostly dote on it caressing, touching and speaking to it. Is it a wonder that boys are considered independent and lacking social and communication skills whereas girls are considered dependent, but socially skilled? Ask yourself if that’s “natural” or if we’re simply imposing our own prejudices on the child before it’s even able to make its own decisions?

We’ve picked a gender-ambiguous name, but here, I don’t think it would be possible to keep that ambiguity through pre-school. Gender has to be filled out in the registration forms… as if that’s important. Do toddlers really care what gender their playmates are? Would they even care if they all simply played naked together in a sand pit? I haven’t seen any such preference in small children. Only when they are older and the stereotyping has been firmly imprinted, then comes the, “Eew! I don’t want to touch him/her! He/she is a boy/girl!”

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