The World outside of Nowhere (and I assume also from any other burner event) is called the Default World. Since coming back, I’ve learned that coming down from the burner high can be quite a shock and that there are other events called decompressions to help with the come-down.
I unfortunately didn’t have the luxury to be able to go to the decompression in Barcelona, but I haven’t experienced a crash either. It took a few days for Nowhere to leave my subconscious, most obviously through waking up and no longer experiencing a wonder at how big the tent is. It’s a blisteringly hot summer here and I also no longer have to consciously stop myself from stripping off in public to cool off.
Nevertheless, I have changed through my experiences. Permanently. When I left, I felt like I had left part of myself behind at Nowhere. What I did not realize at first is that I have also taken a part of Nowhere with me. It’s not a longing for something that I have left behind, but rather a change in myself.
I am now wearing accessories: a bracelet and a necklace.
Anyone who knows me knows just how much accessories normally bother me. I don’t even wear a watch or my wedding ring because they disturb me.
Even more than that: I don’t want to take them off because they hold emotional value for me. Me!?! Sentimental value? I’m the kind of guy who throws away or sells birthday presents if they are not immediately useful to me.
Now I wear the entry bracelet and a gifted necklace because they remind me of amazing friendships and experiences.
What will come next?
I have never felt that I belong to any nation or culture.
Perhaps now I have found my home and it’s interesting to consider how I will relate to it in the future since burns are so distributed and temporary.
Whatever happens, my heart is burning and I will carry that flame with me wherever I go.