Loving? Horny?


I tend to see beauty in things. I see the advantages. I generally have a positive outlook on life. When I see or meet women, I see their beauty first – in all it’s forms – physical, social, mental. I was sure before that it was because I’d successfully cultivated a loving core within me… but the thing about self-reflection is that you question yourself.
Maybe I am just proud that I have these feelings. Proud that my meditation has delivered results. Maybe the real reason that I immediately see the positive aspects is that I’m horny as hell and at the same time practically celibate. Am I deluding myself in to thinking that I have achieved a good Buddhist loving mindset, but in actual fact, I am patting myself on the back for being desperate?

How can I sort this out?
Since I can’t just magic up a loving, sexual relationship, I’ll have to figure out another way of identifying it. I have no ideas yet, but it will be an interesting exercise in self-reflection and realization…

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